Current mood:	accomplished
Entry tags:	2009, character:dean.thomas, character:luna.lovegood, character:neville.longbottom, character:seamus.finnegan, fandom:hp, ficlet, ficlet:hp, genre:crack, genre:humor, genre:slash, ship:luna/dean, ship:seamus/neville genre:het, title:in which

Ficlet | In Which The Cards Reveal More Than You Probably Want
Title: In Which The Cards Reveal More Than You Probably Want
Author: attilatehbun
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing/Characters: Dean Thomas, Luna Lovegood, Seamus Finnegan, Neville Longbottom (implied Dean/Luna, Seamus/Neville if you squint)
Rating: PG
Word Count: ~950
Contains: crackiness, underage drinking, absurd card games
Summary: Card games and alcohol are always a good mix.
Author's Notes: Veeeeeeeeery late birthday ficlet for butterfly_kate. ILU, BB. (Sorry I couldn't get in the book.)
typed slightly in a rush, mostly with a cigarette in one hand, so, uh, any errors? would love to know

~*~

It is three AM. Half the bottle of tequila is gone, and they are sitting around the Gryffindor common room fire, trying desperately not to fall into it.

(The reason they are in Gryffindor Tower and not somewhere potentially less obvious when it comes to public drunkenness is because, as Luna had so rightly pointed out, it was far easier to smuggle one Ravenclaw into Gryffindor than it would have been to smuggle one Ravenclaw, three Gryffindors, and a bottle of alcohol to the Room of Requirement. The war had made McGonagall no less strict when it came to matters of student decorum, not even when - no, especially when - said students were widely regarded as 'war heroes'.

Besides, Luna had said, the Room of Requirement wasn't functioning as well as it once had; the war had knocked sizable chunks out of its magic - not to mention its walls - and it had developed, among other things, a startling propensity to materialize a series of sparkling chamber pots at random intervals.)

So they are in Gryffindor common room, trying not to tip sideways into the fire. Seamus is fingering the neck of the tequila bottle with the sort of glint in his eye that was frightening to anyone who hadn't stuck through it long enough to know that it generally only resulted in spontaneous nudity, and occasionally shaving foam. The other three revelers had, however, and were not about to be put off at the thought of once again bearing witness to Seamus Finnegan's hairy (or not-so-hairy) bollocks.

Dean shuffles the deck of ordinary Muggle playing cards - Snap cards having been deemed too dangerous, given the expected levels of inebriation - and grins to himself. He has an inkling as to what game Seamus is going to propose. They aren't best mates, still, after all that's gone on, for nothing. Besides, they'd played the game about as soon as Seamus had learned it, testing it out, like, and it was mainly due to this little card-and-alcohol game that he'd learned the things that had also happened in their lost year, things not related to the revolution, things not told to the press or to the teachers. No, things related to his best mate and a certain forgetful, snake-slicing, revolutionary. Dean smiles to himself again and passes the deck of cards to Seamus in anticipation.

"I've got another game we can play," Seamus says, nimbly twirling the tequila bottle across the worn rug. Neville's eyes follow it blearily.

Luna claps her hands, eyes alight at the thought of learning something fresh, as always. Dean grins again; the only signs that she's as intoxicated as the rest of them is that she is--

a)sprawled across his lap and--
b)wearing her school tie around her forehead like some sort of headdress.

Quite frankly, that's not particularly out-of-the-norm for Luna, so Dean should perhaps revist his list.

"What is it?" she asks, burrowing a bit deeper in Dean's lap and searching his pockets for the bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate that she'd stashed there at the beginning of the night and already eaten two hours before.

"Sort of a fortune-telling game," Seamus says, giving the bottle one last, particularly violent spin, catching it before it spilled, and pulling himself into a less-slouched position.

"Like Divination?" Luna asks, her voice as close to distaste as it ever got.

"I don't really have a knack for Divination," Neville says, seemingly trying to focus his eyes on the end of his nose. He hiccups once, morosely, and falls sideways into Seamus's shoulder.

"Nah, it's a Muggle game, learnt it from me cousins last break," Seamus says, doing nothing to dislodge Neville's head. "Like, it's their form of Divination, though not really more suspect than ours, eh? Fun though."

Dean feels compelled to nod his agreement, while simultaneously trying to quiet Luna's hands, still in his pants.

Neville's mumbles are slightly muffled by Seamus's shirtsleeve. "So how's it played, then?"

Seamus grins broadly. "Well, first you assign an answer to each suit. Like, spades are "definitely", hearts are "yes", clubs are "maybe", and diamonds are "no". Then you ask the deck questions."

"Do the cards have a brain? Are they thinking? Because Ginny warned me, and I promised, and I don't like to break my promises. That gets messy," Luna says.

"No, it's alright, these are ordinary cards," Dean says, smoothing her hair back. "I didn't even enchant them."

"Oh, well that's good then," Luna says, and smiles up at him. "Can I have my chocolate now?"

"You already ate it, Lu."

"Oh, did I? I'd hoped I'd dreamed that part."

"Anyway," Seamus says, "You ask the cards questions. Yes or no. And it answers them. Only other rule is, if you get a maybe, you have to drink."

Neville hiccups again. "I hope we're all definitive, then, 'cause I don't think I can handle any more."

Seamus pats Neville's knee in a way he surely thinks is subtle, but is in fact anything but.

"It can be surprisingly revealing," Dean says.

"Oh bugger," mutters Neville, and everyone laughs.

"I'll go first then, that alright?" Seamus says, grinning like he's hoping for a maybe. He holds the cards tight in his hands. "Has anyone in this room...been thoroughly shagged since this morning?"

Before he can even turn the card, Neville is blushing furiously, Luna has thrust her hand in the air, and Dean is trying to shove her hand down, muttering Let him turn the card first, Lu.

Seamus laughs as he flips the card, and not a one of them is surprised when the ace of spaces is turned.

~*~fin~*~